I want to show you something.

This is a habit tracker I started a few weeks ago. I sat down and wrote out all of the things I wanted to improve about myself – all the little habits I wanted to cultivate. I have a colour for exercise, self-care, social media and, of course, writing.

There’s a lot of missing days.

Days where life got in the way.

Days where I got in the way.

Days where the words just wouldn’t come, no matter how hard I tried.

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Failure: My Biggest Fear

I hate looking at those blank spaces. Whenever I open this book, a little devil stabs the inside of my chest. It tells me how I’ve messed up. The pin-pricks of heat on my heart remind me how I failed to meet my goals. Failed to meet my standards.

But is that truly failure?

Failure is never looking at that page again.

Failure is burying my head in the sand.

Failure is assuring myself that I’ll do it tomorrow, with no method of holding myself accountable.

Failure is letting that devil win.

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So although, right now, looking at those blank spaces make me cringe, I’ll continue to do so. Not only because I need to keep track of what I have written and how much, but also to remind myself of failures. I will learn to ignore that devil inside me, and instead take the time to learn my weaknesses.

Doing this remind me how far I have come, day-by-day, as I slowly improve myself as a writer.

My habit tracker is not just a record of my failures: it’s the blueprint of tomorrow’s success.

 

Do YOU have a habit tracker? What traits do you want to develop or change for the better? Let me know in the comments below, or tweet me @ERHollands. There’s no bad habit that cannot be overcome!

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